He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
