Please, let me fuck your mom
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
