someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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