i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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