he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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