I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
