Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
