chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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