he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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