Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
