Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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