You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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