So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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