Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
