my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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