Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize