I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
