I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My ass is underappreciated
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
