bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
