it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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