No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
