**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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