I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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