You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
