Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
