it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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