Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
