So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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