So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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