So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
