it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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