I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
