She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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