Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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