See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
