dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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