good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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