I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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