you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Your dad touched me again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
