Nicole vs. Life
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
