Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
