Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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