I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
