Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
