I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize