is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize