If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
