Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
