Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
