i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
