remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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