I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
