My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
