VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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