As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
