well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the room spins SO much faster in panama
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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