so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
