yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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