Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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