I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
