Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
