i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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