dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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