Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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