dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
