I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
