found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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