I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
