Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
