It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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