He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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