haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
