So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
