Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
