I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize