I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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