I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We got so high we made milksteak
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
