I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Acid is not a monday night drug
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
