All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
