Girls should come with a carfax report
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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