I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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