Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
